One thing is for certain, the First Officer on the flight back wasn't drunk.
It seems that when he went through the security screening one of the TSA guys decided he smelled of alcohol. (One of these same guys told me I looked nervous when I was screened.) So in order for the accused to not lose his job, we had to sit on the oh so hot plane at the gate for over two hours until a TSA official with a breathalyzer could get to us. (Note to the TSA, if you are going to make such a claim, please be prepared to back it up.) Kindly, the First Officer let us know what the heck was going on. And he passed with flying colors (heh.) Who thinks he's getting drunk as soon as he goes off duty?